The Tory leader has glimpsed the future and it involves Labour putting every last UK citizen on benefits UK politics live – latest updates If you’re worried about next week’s budget, then now is your time to chill out. Because Kemi Badenoch has all the answers. The chancellor, John Healey, has been living rent free in the leader of the opposition’s head for the past few weeks. Lucky man. More than that, she has been perched on his shoulder while he sits at his desk in the Treasury and tries to make the sums add up. And – SPOILER ALERT – Kemi has now read the whole speech that hasn’t yet been written and is in a position to give her budget reply more than a week ahead of time. Opposition by telepathy. Or wish fulfilment. If things don’t work out for her in her current job she could apply to be the next Mystic Meg. Continue reading...
Nige seems tired and bored of himself as Kemi conjures a telepathic budget

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